Hello Love...

Family, OKC Thunder, tattoos, penguins, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, DC/Marvel comics, TV shows, music, road trips, Food Network, candles, neighbors that don't stomp everywhere they walk, puppies, perfume, singing, things and people that make me laugh, being comfortable, blankets, chocolate, taking pictures, comfy beds, fluffy pillows, beanies, sunflower seeds...these are things that make me happy. Recently I've found a form of happiness I didn't know or ever think could or would exist. Some people say they saw it coming and others didn't quite feel the same way. Here's the thing...be happy. Be happy with who you are, who you're with, the decisions that you make, the decisions you're going to make, and don't try to bring others down. I like being happy and I like being around people that make me happy. I like being around people that make me forget that I had a bad day. I like being around people that like the same things I like. I like being around pe...

Today I treated myself to a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks (I got a pretty little red cup with a reindeer on it for all you peeps that threw a hissy fit over some stupid cups last year). The pumpkin spice latte was much needed. Mondays...I hate them. People...not fond of them either. Then you combine Mondays, people, a busted lip (let's not talk about how that happened), and trying to give good customer service...UGH. A lot of people don't know that  I AM NOT A PEOPLE PERSON . People assume that I am, and I am to a certain degree, but most of the time I don't want to be around people, talk to people, look at people (I rarely ever make eye contact...mostly cause it's awkward), etc. My parents usually disagree with me on this, but apparently people just don't get it. I have my small circle of people that I enjoy being around, and it's very small. I would't say that I hate people...I hate being around people. I don't like having to make conversation w...

In 2 days...well almost 1 since I'm writing this late...I'll be turning 24. For most people their birthday is one of their favorite days. This is not to say that my birthday isn't, but it's one of the hardest days for me. Being adopted from the day I was born has been a blessing. I've never known life without the family that I have right now. I've never known what it was like to not have 3 older (very protective) big brothers. I simply could not imagine what life would be like if I didn't have my beautiful little nieces and handsome little nephew. But sometimes it's one of the hardest things for me to deal with. I've had people that I've met that are adopted and they tell me things like "Oh, I understand." or "Yeah, I get it!", but they don't. I've never met my mom, and most likely never will. Even if by some miracle I'm able to meet her, I will never be able to communicate with her. I won't even know for a fac...

Remember when I thought 2015 was horrible and life really couldn't get much worse? Well, it did. 2016 happened . So far in the wonderful year of 2016 I've lost two jobs, got tonsillitis, still barely made any friends (with the exception of a few) , and let's not forget that I feel like a complete and total failure. I've been sitting in Starbucks for the last 3 hours searching for jobs, listening to music, and just trying to keep my shit together. I've been told I should be thankful for all the little things...but that's really hard to do. I'm so tired of people telling me to try and be positive. I've been trying to be positive since May of 2015 and you know what that got me? A BROKEN HEART, MOVED TO A NEW CITY, LOST 2 JOBS, TONSILLITIS, AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER HORRIBLE SHIT . I've done my very best to be happy and positive, if you don't believe me I don't care. I try to put on a happy face, but sometimes I just want someone who is gonna...

The word " friend " is used so loosely these days. Whenever I'm talking about somebody, I always describe them as my friend, but 90% of the time they're just an acquaintance. I would give anything right now to have a true friend. To be honest, I couldn't tell you what it feels like to have someone stick by your side, someone to talk to, someone to hang out with, someone to go do fun things with, etc. The same thing always happens to me...I meet a new person, exchange numbers or whatever, talk about hanging out, and then nothing ever happens. Most of the time people bail on me or stop talking to me. I've cut a few people out of my life, but I've done that because even though I'm lonely, I can't have toxic people in my life. It would be really nice to meet someone and not just be able to say that I have a friend, but to feel like I am someone's friend for once. I can say that I have friends, but to actually feel like you are somebody's friend...

It's 11:20 and I should really be asleep, but I'm not. You know how you try to stay positive and think positively. You tell yourself over and over again that everything happens for a reason, the right people will come into your life at the right time, things will get better, etc. Well, that's been me for the last year. I am constantly telling myself that everything is happening for a reason and that 2016 will be even better than 2015 was. I WAS WRONG. I've managed to keep a better attitude about things, which could be a plus, but I'm not sure if it's because I have a better attitude, or if it's because my life just continues to fall apart so much that I'm not really sure what to do anymore. I feel that it's the second one of those two, but all you positive people would say otherwise. One thing I have learned throughout all this is that people come and go, sometimes without even saying goodbye, and sometimes you have to be the one to say goodbye. For...

Blah blah blah...change is good...keep on going...etc. I seem to have hit another "bump in the road" as they call it. Lots going on, lots of things rattling around in my brain. Sometimes life hits you with the unexpected, my life in the last year is the perfect example of that. I feel like I have the worst luck sometimes. Now don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for where I am in life and what I have, but I don't handle stress and life changes very well. I always end up making myself sick. Fortunately for me, this last big change didn't hit me quite as hard as my previous one did. It sucked, it wasn't fun, I hated every second of having to deal with it, I felt like a failure, and I didn't want to be around people, but I knew I couldn't be down for long. Something I've worked on in this last year is just trying to stay as positive as I can and doing what's best for me. When I say doing what's best for me (or you) I'm talkin'...do s...