2016 Happened.
Remember when I thought 2015 was horrible and life really couldn't get much worse? Well, it did. 2016 happened. So far in the wonderful year of 2016 I've lost two jobs, got tonsillitis, still barely made any friends (with the exception of a few), and let's not forget that I feel like a complete and total failure.
I've been sitting in Starbucks for the last 3 hours searching for jobs, listening to music, and just trying to keep my shit together. I've been told I should be thankful for all the little things...but that's really hard to do. I'm so tired of people telling me to try and be positive. I've been trying to be positive since May of 2015 and you know what that got me? A BROKEN HEART, MOVED TO A NEW CITY, LOST 2 JOBS, TONSILLITIS, AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER HORRIBLE SHIT. I've done my very best to be happy and positive, if you don't believe me I don't care. I try to put on a happy face, but sometimes I just want someone who is gonna be there to tell me things like "THAT SUCKS". I literally feel like I'm losing everything. There's not much more left of me. I'm physically and emotionally drained. I laid in bed for nearly a week with a fever, missed 4 days of work, finally got better only to get a phone call on my way to work that I was let go. My head is spinning and I don't know whether I want to cry, scream, throw up, punch something, or all of the above.
Here come the tears.
Honestly it doesn't help that my birthday is coming up. One of the hardest days of the year for me. I miss my mother every single day and times like these don't help. I don't know what my mother was like, but I wish I knew how she would handle these kinds of situations. I wish I knew what she would say to me. She wanted me to have an education and be successful and so far I've been successful at nothing.
Before all of you people who read this decide to send me a text making sure I'm okay and lots of things like "I'm praying for you...blah blah blah" stuff, just know what I'm smart enough to know that I'll be okay. Gonna take some time and listen to some good ole Switchfoot like it's 2003 or something. So don't freak out and send me messages or comments like "I just read your blog, are you okay?!" because I'll ignore you so hard.
I've been sitting in Starbucks for the last 3 hours searching for jobs, listening to music, and just trying to keep my shit together. I've been told I should be thankful for all the little things...but that's really hard to do. I'm so tired of people telling me to try and be positive. I've been trying to be positive since May of 2015 and you know what that got me? A BROKEN HEART, MOVED TO A NEW CITY, LOST 2 JOBS, TONSILLITIS, AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER HORRIBLE SHIT. I've done my very best to be happy and positive, if you don't believe me I don't care. I try to put on a happy face, but sometimes I just want someone who is gonna be there to tell me things like "THAT SUCKS". I literally feel like I'm losing everything. There's not much more left of me. I'm physically and emotionally drained. I laid in bed for nearly a week with a fever, missed 4 days of work, finally got better only to get a phone call on my way to work that I was let go. My head is spinning and I don't know whether I want to cry, scream, throw up, punch something, or all of the above.
Here come the tears.
Honestly it doesn't help that my birthday is coming up. One of the hardest days of the year for me. I miss my mother every single day and times like these don't help. I don't know what my mother was like, but I wish I knew how she would handle these kinds of situations. I wish I knew what she would say to me. She wanted me to have an education and be successful and so far I've been successful at nothing.
Before all of you people who read this decide to send me a text making sure I'm okay and lots of things like "I'm praying for you...blah blah blah" stuff, just know what I'm smart enough to know that I'll be okay. Gonna take some time and listen to some good ole Switchfoot like it's 2003 or something. So don't freak out and send me messages or comments like "I just read your blog, are you okay?!" because I'll ignore you so hard.
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