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Sometimes...

 I’m about to be really really honest here, more than my usual. Sometimes depression is not wanting to eat anything. Sometimes it’s not being able to sleep or not wanting to do anything except sleep. Sometimes it makes you sick. Sometimes it makes you sad all the time. Sometimes it tricks you into making you think or feel like you’re happy, but you are actually quite miserable. Sometimes it’s not being able to go back to a certain place (like your own home) because you’re constantly reminded of the memories that happened there. Sometimes it makes you feel completely numb. Sometimes it makes your minutes, hours, days, and years go by unbearably slow. Sometimes it’s really wanting to be happy and doing things that make you happy, but still not feeling any better. Sometimes it’s wanting to cry all the time. Sometimes it’s being mad. Sometimes it’s sitting in your car with music playing, but not actually thinking about anything. Sometimes it’s wanting to be completely alone and away from
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Sticks and Stones

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”-Ephesians 4:29 This has been a verse that I have remembered since my very first year of YFN back in 2005. Whoever the speaker was wanted us to remember it very well so he would always yell “What time is it?” & everyone would yell back “4:29!” Guess it’s a good thing it wasn’t 4:20 or that would just be terrible. Where I’m at in my life right now and with everything that has happened, I have had this verse on my mind a lot. I don’t always “follow” this rule, but recently I have been reminded of how important words are and how much they can affect a person. I have had to say goodbye to a person in my life that I never thought or hoped I would have had to say goodbye to. Sometimes goodbyes are just a “see you later” and sometimes they are actual goodbyes. I firmly believe that if someone is in your life and is ha
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Relationship Killer (I'm not a relationship genius by any means, but just trust me)

“Ah ha! Never assume, because when you assume you make an ASS out of U and ME!” We as humans make assumptions all the time. Even when we don’t want to, try not, or don’t think we are…we are. That line is from 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter, and it is one of those lines that has stuck with me since the first time I heard it. Anytime I hear the word ‘assume’ I automatically am reminded of that line, I usually have a real nice laugh in my head as well. Lately my life has been full of assumptions, whether it’s been on my part or someone else’s. Assumptions can kill relationships. Assumptions are just the same as unspoken expectations. You expect your friend/partner to do something and they don’t or you assume your friend/partner will do something and they don’t, same thing. The problem with unspoken expectations and assumptions is, we are always let down. I know that for me personally, I have a big problem with unspoken expectations. I don’t know why that is, because if yo
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Sad times can kick rocks.

Break ups are hard for some people. I am one of those people. I've had 3 serious relationships in my life, or serious enough that I cared, and out of those 3 only 1 of them has been an actual healthy and good relationship. Some people can learn to be friends after they break up and some people decide to never talk to each other again and then there those that find that happy medium. I'm still learning to find the happy medium. When my first serious relationship ended, it was hard. I was depressed. I moved away from my hometown, to a bigger city, and even though I moved closer to my family I still felt very alone. It was some of the hardest months of my life. Once I moved away, I just found it easier to pretty much never speak to my ex again. Honestly I have no hard feelings towards him, it is what it is. When my second one ended, it was only hard for me because the guy had a kid. Heads up people, I got a thing for single dads apparently. Honestly though, the kid was
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Who Are You?

Daughter . S ister . Aunt. Adopted. Writer. Learner. Impatient. Easily annoyed. Lover. Friend. Gift giver. Planner. Unorganized. Lazy. Steven Adams enthusiast. Messy. Dedicated. Hard worker. Mistake maker. Bad driver. OKC Thunder fanatic. Loud. Loyal. Photographer. Frustrated. Not great at expressing feelings. Not great at hiding facial expressions. Grumpy. Animal and baby lover. Let's try this again. I had this whole post typed out and it deleted, so I'm currently annoyed, but here's the chance to make this even better. All of that above...that is me, or part of me. The good, the bad, and the ugly. On Sunday the sermon was about labels. What 3 labels would you use to describe yourself? What 3 labels would you use to describe yourself to someone you've never met? I couldn't think of any at the time, I mean...c'mon...there are so many words. What kind of idea of myself do I want to give someone who doesn't know anything about me? When I finally thought of
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Find your happy.

Family, OKC Thunder, tattoos, penguins, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, DC/Marvel comics, TV shows, music, road trips, Food Network, candles, neighbors that don't stomp everywhere they walk, puppies, perfume, singing, things and people that make me laugh, being comfortable, blankets, chocolate, taking pictures, comfy beds, fluffy pillows, beanies, sunflower seeds...these are things that make me happy. Recently I've found a form of happiness I didn't know or ever think could or would exist. Some people say they saw it coming and others didn't quite feel the same way. Here's the thing...be happy. Be happy with who you are, who you're with, the decisions that you make, the decisions you're going to make, and don't try to bring others down. I like being happy and I like being around people that make me happy. I like being around people that make me forget that I had a bad day. I like being around people that like the same things I like. I like being around pe
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I want to like you, but it's not that easy.

Today I treated myself to a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks (I got a pretty little red cup with a reindeer on it for all you peeps that threw a hissy fit over some stupid cups last year). The pumpkin spice latte was much needed. Mondays...I hate them. People...not fond of them either. Then you combine Mondays, people, a busted lip (let's not talk about how that happened), and trying to give good customer service...UGH. A lot of people don't know that  I AM NOT A PEOPLE PERSON . People assume that I am, and I am to a certain degree, but most of the time I don't want to be around people, talk to people, look at people (I rarely ever make eye contact...mostly cause it's awkward), etc. My parents usually disagree with me on this, but apparently people just don't get it. I have my small circle of people that I enjoy being around, and it's very small. I would't say that I hate people...I hate being around people. I don't like having to make conversation w
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