Hello Love...

In 2 days...well almost 1 since I'm writing this late...I'll be turning 24. For most people their birthday is one of their favorite days. This is not to say that my birthday isn't, but it's one of the hardest days for me. Being adopted from the day I was born has been a blessing. I've never known life without the family that I have right now. I've never known what it was like to not have 3 older (very protective) big brothers. I simply could not imagine what life would be like if I didn't have my beautiful little nieces and handsome little nephew. But sometimes it's one of the hardest things for me to deal with. I've had people that I've met that are adopted and they tell me things like "Oh, I understand." or "Yeah, I get it!", but they don't. I've never met my mom, and most likely never will. Even if by some miracle I'm able to meet her, I will never be able to communicate with her. I won't even know for a fac...

Remember when I thought 2015 was horrible and life really couldn't get much worse? Well, it did. 2016 happened . So far in the wonderful year of 2016 I've lost two jobs, got tonsillitis, still barely made any friends (with the exception of a few) , and let's not forget that I feel like a complete and total failure. I've been sitting in Starbucks for the last 3 hours searching for jobs, listening to music, and just trying to keep my shit together. I've been told I should be thankful for all the little things...but that's really hard to do. I'm so tired of people telling me to try and be positive. I've been trying to be positive since May of 2015 and you know what that got me? A BROKEN HEART, MOVED TO A NEW CITY, LOST 2 JOBS, TONSILLITIS, AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER HORRIBLE SHIT . I've done my very best to be happy and positive, if you don't believe me I don't care. I try to put on a happy face, but sometimes I just want someone who is gonna...

The word " friend " is used so loosely these days. Whenever I'm talking about somebody, I always describe them as my friend, but 90% of the time they're just an acquaintance. I would give anything right now to have a true friend. To be honest, I couldn't tell you what it feels like to have someone stick by your side, someone to talk to, someone to hang out with, someone to go do fun things with, etc. The same thing always happens to me...I meet a new person, exchange numbers or whatever, talk about hanging out, and then nothing ever happens. Most of the time people bail on me or stop talking to me. I've cut a few people out of my life, but I've done that because even though I'm lonely, I can't have toxic people in my life. It would be really nice to meet someone and not just be able to say that I have a friend, but to feel like I am someone's friend for once. I can say that I have friends, but to actually feel like you are somebody's friend...

It's 11:20 and I should really be asleep, but I'm not. You know how you try to stay positive and think positively. You tell yourself over and over again that everything happens for a reason, the right people will come into your life at the right time, things will get better, etc. Well, that's been me for the last year. I am constantly telling myself that everything is happening for a reason and that 2016 will be even better than 2015 was. I WAS WRONG. I've managed to keep a better attitude about things, which could be a plus, but I'm not sure if it's because I have a better attitude, or if it's because my life just continues to fall apart so much that I'm not really sure what to do anymore. I feel that it's the second one of those two, but all you positive people would say otherwise. One thing I have learned throughout all this is that people come and go, sometimes without even saying goodbye, and sometimes you have to be the one to say goodbye. For...

Blah blah blah...change is good...keep on going...etc. I seem to have hit another "bump in the road" as they call it. Lots going on, lots of things rattling around in my brain. Sometimes life hits you with the unexpected, my life in the last year is the perfect example of that. I feel like I have the worst luck sometimes. Now don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for where I am in life and what I have, but I don't handle stress and life changes very well. I always end up making myself sick. Fortunately for me, this last big change didn't hit me quite as hard as my previous one did. It sucked, it wasn't fun, I hated every second of having to deal with it, I felt like a failure, and I didn't want to be around people, but I knew I couldn't be down for long. Something I've worked on in this last year is just trying to stay as positive as I can and doing what's best for me. When I say doing what's best for me (or you) I'm talkin'...do s...

"Breathe in and let it go. Your tears are not for nothing. Let them fall off, in every tear drop there is something beautiful. You are stronger than you know, oh you're something beautiful.; Without darkness, there is no light. Just hold on a little longer, and I promise you'll get through this." --Tori Kelly If you would have asked me a year ago where I thought I would be in a year, I can guarantee you my answer would not be what it is today. First of all, I never thought that I would ever move away from Ardmore, but thank God I did. Nothing wrong with Ardmore, I love Ardmore, it's the place I grew up, but there are so many more opportunities in OKC that aren't in Ardmore. It's no secret that I've gone through a rough time, I blogged it for goodness sake, but one thing that has helped me get through some tough times has been my music. Tori Kelly is one of my absolute favorite artists, her voice is beautiful and so many of her lyrics are just what I...

I made it. You made it. We made it to 2016. There were honestly times in 2015 that I didn't think I would make it to 2016, but here I am. Writing this blog. All I have to say is...thank goodness for people who never give up on you. I found old messages from random people that were just as relevant today as they were the day they sent them to me. I have made new friends who have made more of an impact in my life in just a few short months than people I've known my whole life. I've reconnected with so many old friends in the last few months. All of which have been the biggest blessing in this madness I call my life. When you go through a hard time, whether it's just a short period of time or the course of a year, you find out who is there for you. The saying "you find out who your friends are" couldn't be more true. I struggled with realizing my friends...weren't my friends. They were just people I thought were my friends. It was hard, especially with wh...