Relationship Killer (I'm not a relationship genius by any means, but just trust me)
“Ah ha! Never assume, because when you assume you make an ASS out of U and ME!”
We as humans make assumptions all the time. Even when we don’t want to, try not, or don’t think we are…we are. That line is from 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter, and it is one of those lines that has stuck with me since the first time I heard it. Anytime I hear the word ‘assume’ I automatically am reminded of that line, I usually have a real nice laugh in my head as well. Lately my life has been full of assumptions, whether it’s been on my part or someone else’s. Assumptions can kill relationships. Assumptions are just the same as unspoken expectations. You expect your friend/partner to do something and they don’t or you assume your friend/partner will do something and they don’t, same thing. The problem with unspoken expectations and assumptions is, we are always let down. I know that for me personally, I have a big problem with unspoken expectations. I don’t know why that is, because if you know me, you know that I have no problem speaking my mind and the problem is me keeping my mouth shut. Okay…okay…the real reason is fear. Fear keeps me from speaking up in relationships when I know I need to. Fear keeps me from feeling secure. Fear keeps me from trusting completely. Fear…it’s a terrible thing. Literally from the devil himself.
This break up I just went through has been one of the hardest and most challenging times for me (for a lot of reasons besides heartbreak, promise). My parents always tell me after any difficult time in my life to ask God what have I learned from this experience, what can He teach me, and how can I grow from it? I’ve reached a new level of me and where I’m at personally from this relationship. I’ve become a person who even though I’ve gone through a trial, I am still standing. Craig Groeschel’s message this week felt like it was just for me. At one point he said “There is purpose in your pain. God never wastes a hurt.” and that spoke volumes to me. God is not wasting this time in my life, this relationship and break up was not just to toy with me. I wholeheartedly believe that this relationship was beneficial for me in the best way. As much pain and hurt I have felt over the last few days, I am grateful for the people and things he introduced to me during our time together. One thing I learned from him was about how important community is and how important it is to surround yourself with people who help grow with you and build you up (I mean, I already knew that, but I’m stubborn and didn’t want to listen to anyone else). Break ups before only made me want to be by myself and away from everyone else, this time around is different. I’m excited for my life group, I’ve made plans with my sister in law to take a trip for my birthday, and I’ve made plans with friends to get coffee. I’ve realized the importance of community and surrounding yourself with other people and I know for a fact that is something healthy and beneficial I can take from all this mess.
Assumptions kill relationships. Unspoken expectations kill relationships. Not just romantic relationships, but friendships and really any kind of relationship you have with anyone. That is a nasty and unhealthy habit that I wish I could banish. Unfortunately I can’t say that it will be gone from my life forever, I’m a human and that’s a mistake that will be made over and over again in my life because I’m only 24. I can say that it is something I’m going to work on from now on with every relationship I have with anyone. I am easily disappointed because of unspoken expectations and that not only hurts me, but it hurts everyone involved.
So next time you assume, just remember what John Ritter said.
Also, here is a link to the scene…I love this show. Why is it not on Netflix? Let’s start a petition to get it on there? No? Okay.
https://youtu.be/LJCCyW3WW3A
Alright, the link doesn't work cause I don't know what I'm doing, but just type in "8 simple rules assume" on YouTube and it should be the first one that pops up. Dang technology.
We as humans make assumptions all the time. Even when we don’t want to, try not, or don’t think we are…we are. That line is from 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter, and it is one of those lines that has stuck with me since the first time I heard it. Anytime I hear the word ‘assume’ I automatically am reminded of that line, I usually have a real nice laugh in my head as well. Lately my life has been full of assumptions, whether it’s been on my part or someone else’s. Assumptions can kill relationships. Assumptions are just the same as unspoken expectations. You expect your friend/partner to do something and they don’t or you assume your friend/partner will do something and they don’t, same thing. The problem with unspoken expectations and assumptions is, we are always let down. I know that for me personally, I have a big problem with unspoken expectations. I don’t know why that is, because if you know me, you know that I have no problem speaking my mind and the problem is me keeping my mouth shut. Okay…okay…the real reason is fear. Fear keeps me from speaking up in relationships when I know I need to. Fear keeps me from feeling secure. Fear keeps me from trusting completely. Fear…it’s a terrible thing. Literally from the devil himself.
This break up I just went through has been one of the hardest and most challenging times for me (for a lot of reasons besides heartbreak, promise). My parents always tell me after any difficult time in my life to ask God what have I learned from this experience, what can He teach me, and how can I grow from it? I’ve reached a new level of me and where I’m at personally from this relationship. I’ve become a person who even though I’ve gone through a trial, I am still standing. Craig Groeschel’s message this week felt like it was just for me. At one point he said “There is purpose in your pain. God never wastes a hurt.” and that spoke volumes to me. God is not wasting this time in my life, this relationship and break up was not just to toy with me. I wholeheartedly believe that this relationship was beneficial for me in the best way. As much pain and hurt I have felt over the last few days, I am grateful for the people and things he introduced to me during our time together. One thing I learned from him was about how important community is and how important it is to surround yourself with people who help grow with you and build you up (I mean, I already knew that, but I’m stubborn and didn’t want to listen to anyone else). Break ups before only made me want to be by myself and away from everyone else, this time around is different. I’m excited for my life group, I’ve made plans with my sister in law to take a trip for my birthday, and I’ve made plans with friends to get coffee. I’ve realized the importance of community and surrounding yourself with other people and I know for a fact that is something healthy and beneficial I can take from all this mess.
Assumptions kill relationships. Unspoken expectations kill relationships. Not just romantic relationships, but friendships and really any kind of relationship you have with anyone. That is a nasty and unhealthy habit that I wish I could banish. Unfortunately I can’t say that it will be gone from my life forever, I’m a human and that’s a mistake that will be made over and over again in my life because I’m only 24. I can say that it is something I’m going to work on from now on with every relationship I have with anyone. I am easily disappointed because of unspoken expectations and that not only hurts me, but it hurts everyone involved.
So next time you assume, just remember what John Ritter said.
Also, here is a link to the scene…I love this show. Why is it not on Netflix? Let’s start a petition to get it on there? No? Okay.
https://youtu.be/LJCCyW3WW3A
Alright, the link doesn't work cause I don't know what I'm doing, but just type in "8 simple rules assume" on YouTube and it should be the first one that pops up. Dang technology.
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