Hello Love...

I forgot to post yesterday, but better late than never, right? So this week has had a lot of emotions, go figure. Just a lot of ups and downs. Learning how to move on and make the best out of life right now. Today marks the 5th anniversary that we lost a truly sweet, kind, caring, and amazing girl. I still remember that day that it happened. I remember the text I got from my dad. I remember not being able to keep it together long enough to get to the church. I can still remember the funeral like it was yesterday too. I remember standing in the back listening to my dad talk. Listening to our principal and Jim Yeager talk about Alyssa. I remember standing next to my English teacher as she hugged all of us students who were next to her. It's incredibly hard to think that it's been 5 years since that day, my timehop app on my phone is filled with 5 years of remembering her. It's amazing how much losing a classmate brings an entire graduating class together. Even if people d...

So Sunday is usually my blog day, but I have stuff on my mind. You'll have to excuse my back and forth emotions in these posts. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel or act post break-up. I know I've talked about this in every single post, but this is my life as of right now. It's been close to 5 months and I'm still not sure what to do with myself. I still feel like everything has just been one big bad dream. I've moved to a different city and started a new job and I don't feel like it's my real life. I don't feel at home, none of it feels real to me. I miss Ardmore. Even though I didn't have very many friends there anymore, I miss it. Sometimes I think I want to move back, but I know that I would be even more miserable there than I am here. I don't feel like Edmond is my home, I don't think I ever will. I know that life will eventually get easier for me and I won't feel like this anymore. I'll be honest here, I'm not...

I've been putting off today's post because I'm not really sure what to write about. One of my last posts I talked about how it gets easier for you after a break up. I'm kind of feeling like a hypocrite because this past week has been horrible for me. It has been extremely difficult trying to get used to living in a new place, working at a new job, not having any friends, and especially not talking to the one person I still want to talk to. This past week has just been full of missing everything. Missing talking to them, hanging out, and constantly thinking of what we would be doing if we were still together. I know that I shouldn't think that way because all it does it bring back memories that make moving on difficult, but this week it's been nearly impossible for me to not think about that stuff. Everyone tells me "WE'LL get through this." but it's not their problem, not their battle. They can't help me get through any of this. Despite w...